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  • Writer's pictureIlin Shieh

Authenticity and Unconditional Self-Acceptance


One of the most heart-opening and the most hard-to-pin-down concepts that I can ever talk about with anyone. To be in that space of authenticity to talk about authenticity, I find that I've had to let go of :

1. who I think I should be, even who I think I am

2. who I think other people expect me to be

3. who I think I need to be in order to be worthy of love

And that means noticing the tape playing over and over again in my subconscious mind that ties my sense of self-worth to sets of external circumstance. It also means allowing intimacy with myself, and sending love and compassion to that part of me that seems unloveable. By being aware, the limiting beliefs formed through any type of emotional trauma are then allowed to come into the light and be seen.

The belief that -

I need to be someone who I'm not to survive. I am not strong enough as I am. I am not worthy of love as I am

is then subsumed under unconditional self-acceptance.

And at every juncture in my life, be it stepping into new relationships or coming out of situations, I find myself face-to-face with the call for self-acceptance. My current commitment is to know myself, see myself, and accept unconditional love on behalf of that part of me that asks for love, appreciation, and approval out of feeling undeserving and resistant.

We all want to be loved for who we really are. And until we deeply know and dive into the depth of who we are, we will never truly embrace the acceptance that is right here embracing us. So it makes sense that the unlearning of the limiting behavioral patterns run parallel with the constant discovery of who-we-are and our unique purpose. Or in other words, our unique purpose arise on a moment-by-moment basis when we are rooted in self-acceptance and compassion.

It is not to say that we need to make ourselves feel special, because no, none of us are special. Over 8.7 million species on Earth, at least 100 billion planets in the Milky Way, and possibly 2 trillion galaxies in the universe, and God knows how many universes in God knows how many dimensions. We are not special, but the gift is that we are each and every one unique. Unique enough for our lives to be emanations of authenticity itself, and unique enough where authenticity naturally follows self-awareness and self-acceptance.

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